Did I ever talk to you about the 90 Day Warranty? No? Well what am I waiting for!

Most people look at relationships this way, but I don’t think anybody has ever put it into words for people to see and learn from. As with most good things in life, relationships(romance, sex, whatever) come with a 90 Day Warranty. If anything is lost or broken or missing within 90 days of starting a “coalition” with another, you are free to return back to how you were before hand, however if you wait longer than that, you will only lose the longer you wait and have to pay for the defective product of your union on your own.

Basically, people are always on about the 3 month rule, it takes 3 months to know everything there is about a person, if after 3 months you end it, you gave it a good shot, but you didn’t invest too much into the relationship so as not to lose anything for nothing. If more people adhered to this belief, there would be a lot less couples who hate each other’s guts. You can tell when something isn’t working from the get go usually, 3 months is just the safe period to let people be comfortable enough to expose themselves for what they are. So if you see warning signs, or short comings or anything that you are unhappy with, and you cannot repair it, then just turn in that warranty and shop around for a replacement. Sometimes I sound like a cruel bastard but really this is kinda just common sense, get over it. Would you prefer to invest money and time in repairs and still have difficulties? It’s like a car, if you pay $400 for the car but spend $2000 on repairs, and keep driving it into the ground until it inevitably stops working all together, you are an idiot. If it starts having problems you return it and get a new one that works.

- Six”

(Source: theponytailparades, via whereforartthoujuliet)

Maybe I’ve forgotten the name and the address
Of everyone I’ve ever known
It’s nothing I regret
Save it for another day
It’s the school exam and the kids have run away

I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up every day that would be a start
I would not complain of my wounded heart

I was upset you see 
Almost all the time
You used to be a stranger
Now you are mine

I wouldn’t even trust you
I’ve not got much to give
We’re dealing in the limits
And we don’t know who with
You may think that I’m out of hand
That I’m naive, I’ll understand
On this occasion, it’s not true 
Look at me, I’m not you

I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up every day that would be a start
I would not complain of my wounded heart

I was a short fuse 
Burning all the time
You were a complete stranger
Now you are mine

I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up every day that would be a start
I would not complain about my wounded heart

Just wait till tomorrow
I guess that’s what they all say 
Just before they fall apart

Condoms are like bread crumbs: They are left along my road of life for me to follow and pick up on.

I picked one up yesterday whilst at my favorite dive here in Atlanta, Cocktail Cove, while chilling in the sports bar, people watching and talking with a few regulars, I noticed an attractive looking woman walk by my table on her way to the dance floor, I also noticed a guy at the table across from me, lock onto her with his eyes and stare at her (butt) for a full 8 seconds without blinking before returning to what he was doing. This of course reminded me of something a wise man once said, and made me wish he had the gonads to actually tell the girl he was eye(sex)ing that he actually wanted to sex her, more than likely he wouldn’t have gotten any, but depending on how creepy his delivery was, he could have at the very least, made her smile and feel good about herself.

I go out usually 3 times a week, and during these outings I see a lot of good looking women, and men, but I like women more than men so let’s talk about women.

I see a lot of good looking women, and I am getting better at it, but more often than not if I lock eyes with someone and feel that connection, I try my best to let them know, I think they are beautiful. Nothing ever comes of this, it is simply me paying them a compliment that I feel they deserve, a little something to make them happy at the end of the day, even if they don’t remember me. It’s said that people remember compliments better than they remember other people and it’s true.

Now I may be a romantic at heart, but stop right there, I’m never going to be the guy who tells a girl she is, “The most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” or “No other woman can approach your beauty,” or that time old lie, “I only have eyes for you.” I’m just not that big of a liar. I make sure the women I appreciate having in my life know it, but there are so many women out there that deserve attention, it is unfair not to at least pay them a compliment, not that I claim to know them, but they are just as good as you, and I don’t think I’m a whore for saying so. At the end of the day if somebody gets angry at me for telling a woman she is gorgeous, then they are just jealous of nothing, some days are beautiful, but I’m not going to run away with 12 hours. Women are and always will be my greatest inspiration, barring some poor samples, the majority are works of art and deserve praise. I could be having the worst day of my life, but if a woman smiled at me right when the hammer was being pulled back, I would drop the gun, because that is the magic you posess. Don’t squander it, and don’t let anybody tell you different. But more importantly, if your man looks at another woman, take into account that he is aware of the world of beauty around him, but at the end of the day, you are the one he stands beside.

I’m back baby.

- Six”

Help me outa this… Help me outa this… Help me outa this… Help me outa this…

- Puscifer

Six” coming at you out of Atlanta once again, this time to pose a new problem which is actually an old one. As a man of some years I have been in more than a few relationships in my day, and they have been of all shapes and lengths, from each one that I have had, I have taken away some life lessons, some do’s and do not’s and more than anything, scars. I know what hurts me and more often than not, it’s myself, because I allow myself to behave in a way which is unbecoming of me, and I am writing today to acknowledge that I have made some mistakes, but I intend to right them thru admittance.

The Condom Chronicles started a little under a year ago, as a means for me to voice my inner most thoughts and ideals without fear of judgement from those near me, under the guise of Six” I attacked problems as I saw them with reason, logic and most importantly, the tactical usage of anecdotes. I had recently gotten out of a bad relationship, which had taken me from a self confident, independent and charismatic loner, who said what he wanted and did what he wanted when he wanted, down to a lowly, yes man, who would do anything for the woman he loved, even let her leave him and blame it all on himself. Three months went by, spent grieving over the loss of the girl who I truly believed was “The One”, the one who would set the record straight. Three months of picking up the pieces of my former self from the snow and park benches and gluing them back onto myself. Three months of turning my back on those “friends” of mine who were dishonest and abusive to my mental state. People who I had spent a year or more getting to know, only after losing someone who had swayed me in a matter of months only to let me down, did I realize the poison I had been feeding off of for the 2-3 years spent around these people… I was sick, lies ate away at me like a cancer, se I purged myself of all those who had wronged me by being anything less than honest with me, I even purged a part of myself that had the potential to lie, and gave birth to the Chronicles, a forum for brutal and effective honesty, where I would pull no punches and cause no pain by lying to myself or anyone else. I was free, and this was the start of my parole.

The conditions of my parole were simple: Don’t hold back. Don’t hold back anything, intentions, opinions, emotions, ideals and more than anything, the truth. I promised myself not to limit myself as I had with the one who watched me crumble then blew my remains away. I would be my own man, my own person, and the best way I could help anybody was by being honest. But like any criminal, the time comes when you are faced with a decision, a sweet spoon that you want to taste, that old familiar scent, or an open window with a pie cooling in the breeze, analogies aside, reformation cannot stay reformed for a seasoned professional, you always have room for one more try, to see if you can get away with it this time. I am ashamed to say that I broke the conditions of my parole, and now, I am sentencing myself once more.

I allowed myself to get comfortable with someone, and relieve some of my stress onto their shoulders, shoulders, which already carried many burdens of their own, but the invitation was open, and I took advantage of it. This person only wanted to help, but I should have thanked them for their kindness and gone about carrying my own weight, alas, I did not, I yielded a great deal of my troubles onto this person, and for this, I am sorry. What made me more sorry was when I tried to alleviate the load by taking from her some of her burdens, when she did not need any help carrying them, just a place to lay them when she was done for the day, and for that, I am also sorry.

You are stronger than I am, but I want to have my burden back, because it is my cross to bear, I have no right to let you carry it. I mean no ill content toward you, you were only doing what was right by me, but I should have denied it, I would rather drag my cross beside you, than walk in front of you while you follow with both crosses weighing you down.

As of today, I am reclaiming my own burdens, to chip away at a little at a time, pinpoint the items I do not need in my pack, and leave them somewhere along the road of life, to make my journey more pleasant. I wrote a while back, a quote from a song by Say Anything, I am only human with my cross to bear, and I will do just that. For now on you have no reason to worry, I know we will both be just fine. I’ve had some time to think about it, and this post is my honest thought on the matter, I have had the time necessary to re familiarize myself with the weight I was missing, and I’m ready to start carrying it once more. The conditions of my parole are simple. A wise man once said, there are two kinds of people in this world, and I choose to be the kind who takes responsibility for himself and not others. Anytime somebody needs me, they will ask for me and I will not deny them, but I want to be independent, not alone, just independent, I can carry my load - speaking metaphorically, I will still carry your backpack if it’s too heavy for you - only I will be able to know what to hang onto and what to let go of, and I am getting older, I have to get started. This is a lifetime sentence. I plan to serve it.

And finally, to anyone reading this, if you feel like you have been lied to, or mislead, don’t, I never tell a lie, I have meant anything and everything I ever said to you. So please, take this for what this is, me taking responsibility for myself, you no longer have to, all you have to do is smile, and I’ll smile back.

Glad I got that off my chest, now let’s talk about Condoms.

- Six”

Well, it has been something like 3 months since I last posted, I don’t know for sure, because I don’t ever dwell in the past, not even for a moment or two to see how long ago I posted, no, this man is always moving forward and I keep my eyes facing the same direction. That being said, it has been almost 4 months since I moved to my new home of Atlanta, GA, from my humble roost in the land that Cows built, Central NY; and truth be told, things are a little different here. First of all, everybody here is nicer than they are in New York, I mean, people warned me about southern hospitality and how I would make too many friends, and I mostly wrote it off as an urban legend that New Yorkers tell their selves to frighten them away from going down south, so as not to risk having anymore people to send greeting cards too when Christmas comes around. But really, people in the south are a lot nicer than they are up north, I would say the ass-hole to best-man ratio is about 1 in 10. Every 9 people I meet are nice to me and want to know what I do for a living, and the other guy is just too drunk to remember his manors. Which brings me onto my second point about the south.

Booze. The city runs on it, it pours through the streets like most precious blood through the streams of a very large human with a patchy hair cut and childish disposition. Maybe I only thing so because the majority of my socializing is done via bars and clubs, but that’s because those are the only places to meet anyone! I don’t know where to find intellectuals in this town. I actually met one, it was on New Years Eve at one of the biggest clubs in town, I was there because by some happenstance my roommate had gotten me into MCing for the DJ playing that night, keep in mind I had never MC’d before, and this was New Years Eve, at the biggest club in town, 900-plus people, all expecting a good time, I rose to the occasion. Around 1am, when things had simmered down a little - much like bacon nearing completion - I had a moment to sit down in the incredibly foggy DJ booth, and spoke to one of the other guests that night, a girl from New Jersey, who’s dance moves looked a little like something out of a Mel Brooks film. More important than her dance moves however was her aptitude for reading and enjoying good films, it was her first time ever at a club - I can’t imagine her impression - and she was there at the behest of her boyfriend who was filming the event (http://youtu.be/U0JvuEBBcVs you can check out the video from that night, her dance moves are easier to spot than my silhouette) but told me that she didn’t like going out to clubs or bars, or anywhere really, only staying indoors reading a book or watching HBO; and she didn’t have a lot of friends that she didn’t know from school or work, which led me to my next question, “How do I meet people like you?” It seems a cruel irony that all intellectuals abhor the nightlife, because short of peaking in windows, my odds for contacting fellow thinkers seem not so good. And so that is the story of how I became doomed to only socialize with people who know how to have a good time, woe is me.

On the plus side, I have gotten better at drinking, not that I ever was bad at it, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that I am incapable of getting drunk, I really don’t know what’s wrong with me, maybe I just need to start doing drinking contests, it would pay more than I am making now. But I won’t start about unemployment right now, I’m feeling optimistic right now.

Yes, admittedly, life has slowed down to lightspeed since I arrived in this rather large but spread out city, I have been both busy and not at the same time, and with many of my friends and their problems still back in NY, I haven’t had a lot to write about. I am definitely happy with my new roost, but I need more excitement in my life. So I’m opening the doorway for you, the readers at home, to ask questions or seek advice, that’s what I’m here for, I just want to help some people out, and I feel like I haven’t done that in a while, so please, one and all, anonymous and public, send me stories, ask me questions, seek guidance, I am an open book of knowledge and experience and I want you to take away what you can. Hopefully I will have more interesting things to write about as time goes by, being away from small town drama has really hurt my creativity in that department.

- Six”

Anonymous asked: Are there other women in your life? Like that you are interested in besides her or that are interested in you as more than "just friends" ? I remember reading something that suggested that. They could be feeling the same way about you that you feel about her. I'm just trying to give you a diff perspective.

Anybody who has read my blog knows that I am guilty of caring for a lot of people the way I do her. But I don’t see that as a negative, I’m not saying you are suggesting that I do, but my heart is big enough for a lot of people to fit in there, and I would put it on the line for a few without taking the time to second guess it. But, this world is big, and there are so many people out there that are amazing, so I cannot in good conscience tell any one woman that I will be hers, because I’ve been there, a lot of times, and they never work out, and as a result, people get hurt, including people like you suggest that think of me as more than a friend. I cannot tell you how many opportunities to make someone’s day I passed up, or to get to know them better I missed because I was tied down by a girl that inevitably left me. So going on past experience I do not wish to be held down or hold anybody else down, I only want to do what feels right and what can bring me closer to a woman when it feels right. I’m not talking about sleeping with every girl I meet, heavens no, or even going behind a woman’s back with another, if I’m with one girl, I’m with her, but I am young, and don’t plan on marrying anytime soon.

I guess basically I want to test the waters, but more so I want to experience what it’s like to be so close to someone, because one day she’s going to be married, I know her, I know what she’s about, and when that day comes who knows maybe she’ll regret not giving me a chance, maybe I’ll regret not taking my chance. I only suggest that if she thinks so highly of me, merging the boundaries should not be so complicated, and I think it’s the complexity of it that she sees but I do not in this case.

I have a couple of friends who have been dating for a long stretch, like 4 years, and after moving away from each other for school and work, they recently decided to put their relationship on hold, because they both know that they miss being near someone and having someone to keep them company, like any human does, so as I said, they put it on hold. Something in my opinion, that seemed like a good idea, and for all intents and purposes should be as simple as freeing yourself up for filling that gap, without creating a greater one in between each other. It could have been simple, turn a closed relationship into an open one, so you can fill the void as it were, but maintain contact, because you care about the other person, obviously, you don’t want to be written out of their life, it isn’t like a bloody breakup or anything violent, it was a coming to terms. But, and there’s always a but, the girl in the equation a few days later, started creating problems, like that she couldn’t handle still talking to the guy and that she was taking it too rough, when it could have been a respectful and smooth separation, she turned it into something else, something complicated. Now I’m not trying to call women out on this, because men are guilty of this too, but she isn’t the first woman to turn something simple into the opposite. I know not everybody can accept my open minded lifestyle, but this is how feelings get hurt, people making decisions that are irrational.

Now the girl in my life, and she is welcome to inform me if I am wrong but I’m only siting what she said to me regarding the whole thing, she said she was afraid of hurting the friendship and I quote: “Didn’t want me to get the wrong idea.” What wrong idea? I ask. If we are flirting all the time, she is willingly doing it, now if she is so paranoid that she thinks I’m gonna change or we are gonna change then that’s on her, but I don’t plan on changing for anyone. And if I like her that much, I can’t really help it, it’s not the reason why I talk to her, at all, because I do want what’s best for her, even and most likely if that’s not me, I just think it’s unfair that she won’t entertain the idea. Because, as I said, I know she would meet a guy in a bookstore or a bar and consider him, so why is the guy she trusts and admires at a disadvantage? This is the part that makes me want to vent about it, because I feel like all of the effort I put into her is taken lightly by her, and I don’t do it for reward but it still hurts when I am considered to be lesser than others.

Now I know that there is someone in her life right now, and it’s a little rocky, but just the same, she said to me that it wasn’t holding her back from going out and having fun, I just want to be part of that you know? And I asked her long ago if she would ever date me, maybe she said yes to make me feel better, because we were both going thru crummy relationships at the time, but I took what she said and used it as motivation to get out and raise my standards. Looking back now, it just makes it hard to think she wasn’t being honest with me. And yes, times change and people with it, but I would think that she has only closer to me since then. Alas, I don’t have all the answers, I just wish I could get the straight on the matter.

Dear Anon,

Why do you keep fueling my rants huh? Haha.

- Six”

Anonymous asked: Maybe she's not afraid. Maybe she just doesn't feel that way about you.

Seeing as your anonymous I can’t really answer this as best I would like to. But hey, I’ll post it just so we are clear. This post is in regard to the Gear Grinding post down the way, about a girl I know who says one thing but does another. That is a vague and kinda simplistic way of putting it, which doesn’t really do her any justice, because it is a matter of her opinion which is most important where she is concerned, of course, her life, her choice, so just read down if you’re interested in learning more.

In Response To Dear Anon: I agree with you, she doesn’t feel “That” way about me, clearly, but when a girl tells you, straight up, that it’s because she is afraid of losing the friendship, it kinda lends to her being afraid, if you get my meaning.

The problem is, at least the issue I took with the situation, is that she says one thing than does another. She says that I’m a great guy, and she likes to talk to me, and knows, fully well, that if she needs me, I will be there for her. The problem begins when with all that trust and all that faith in me, she just doesn’t even consider that maybe oh maybe, I could be worth getting to know a little better, and frankly I resent that even if just a little bit, because it quite frankly, hurts my feelings. Now, I wasn’t asking her to go steady with me, or marry me, or be my girlfriend or not to go out anymore, or to move to Atlanta with me, or to join a cult, all I WAS doing, was simply suggesting that perhaps, with our chemistry and ability to have fun with one another, flirtatious or otherwise, that maybe we could try to be comfortable with the idea of us being more than friends. I’m not talking about a fuck buddy, or any of the above things, but here’s a scenario okay? Let’s say for instance, that she were to visit me, and we go out to the bar for a few drinks, music is playing and the dance floor is filling up, I myself would want to dance with her, I wouldn’t want her to be afraid to dance with me just because she - as she put it -  doesn’t want me to get the wrong idea. If we went back to my place and were watching a movie, and she was cold or just feeling comfy, I would want her to be able to cuddle up to me, or find comfort with my arm around her or something, not sit a foot away out of fear that I might think this means she’s popping the question.

Do you kinda get what I’m going for here? I know I’m rambling but this is a sensitive subject so I am not sure if I’m able to process the words just right. The fact is, I like her, and I like her a lot; she and I have been there for each other at the very least spiritually and mentally for a couple of years and helped thru some pretty rough patches. Through all that, we have become close, talk usually once a week, about life and whatever. We both have our own lives and our own things going on, our own friends and so on, and I respect that and I know she respects it too. But we do know each other, and I call her my love with affection because if she ever needed something, I would give it freely, I can’t tell you how many times I have sent her a text, or created a piece of art just for the purpose of making her smile that day. We watch out for each other and I can understand why she would be afraid that something about that would change if we did anything “extra-friendly” but to me it’s all about layers, the foundation is the most important layer, anything in addition to that is just that, an addition, nothing is subtracted, nothing divided, it is all positive movement in the right direction. If she is reading this, I would hope she better understands what it was I was asking that night, because I sometimes don’t have the words to make people understand, but I would never wish our friendship any loss whatsoever, I only want her to be comfortable with me the same way she would be comfortable with the cool guy she met at the club and danced with, or that invited her in for dinner one night, because I think I’m a cool guy, and I don’t like being labeled as “Just friends” like I’m not good enough for anything else, that honestly hurts me a lot more than people just telling me that we aren’t friends, because if you trust me for everything else, you should be able to trust me for the world, and if you try to run away with it AL, you can trust that I will trip you up and remind you that you are you, and I am me, and we’re family, first and foremost.

I hope this answered your question, and I hope she reads this and understands, I’m not as she fears. I just can’t help feeling what I feel, it’s life, I live with it daily.

- Six”

Well yesterday was my first Thanksgiving living out on my own - with fellow single-roommate - and I must say, it was very pleasant. We cooked a good meal and enjoyed the nice weather - 70 in Atlanta - and all around a good day. So that’s why I didn’t post yesterday like the rest of yous peoples. But I have a moment now so I think I’m going to post what I’m thankful for on here, some of it goes without saying, others may be up in the air for most my readers, but either way it is as it is.

Women: Even if sometimes I seem to rag on their kind a lot, it is not without the best of intentions, and while admittedly the lot of them have issues, much like classic cars, they need a tune up now and then but they will never go out of style. I love women, all of them, every one has something to offer and something to take away. They are all unique in their own right, but similar as well. Women are my source for inspiration, it was a woman who inspired me to start writing The Chronicles - rather violently I might add - and it is women every day from the days of old right up to my doorstep that inspire me to create art. More than anything, women are fun, both to be around and to talk to - or torment/play with in my case - they are usually good sports, and when you go too far, they are generally understanding and forgiving. And thank goodness for that. If the world had no women it would be odd, but more importantly it would be boring, I would have no drive at all because tho I might impress my fellow man, the admiration and support I get from women in my life is 100X more potent than anything a man can summon for my gratification. Further more, it would just be one giant sausage fest, and who would want that? Tho while I’m on the subject…

Sausage: It’s awesome, probably the best food ever invented, which reminds me, I’m thankful for food, and knowing how to prepare it. My parents taught me well in the arts of culinary success, paired with experimentation and general common sense cooking skills, I credit myself as being a very good cook. Not quite CIA, but if I was put to the test, I could definitely make something that anybody would enjoy and that makes me happy to know that.

Comedy: I’m also thankful for my God given tongue, silver and polished with a speed stripe and a spoiler, this tongue can sooth dragons, talk my way out of mob debts, put a charging bull to sleep, and perhaps the most impressive, cause any woman anywhere to laugh and smile. Nothing makes me happier than making people laugh, women in particular, life can be so dramatic, dreary and droll, laughter makes everything better and more fun. So it is my pride that I command that power. More than anything that my tongue and my mind can work together and tell my hands what to type, because written word can be just as if not more potent as spoken any day.

Family: Lastly but not leastly, I would like to express my thankfulness for my family, my brothers and sisters who have always been there for me, and generally have not needed me that much, which gives me more time to focus my efforts on my extended family of friends who have problems all the time. But I wouldn’t trade them for the world. What is life if not the people you share it with? With each day comes a new sky a new sunrise and a new face beneath them both, remember each person you meet, under good or bad circumstances, and take with you the lessons you learned from each and every one of them. Life is too short to hit repeat and waste time looking back while you’re moving forward, keep your eyes pealed and your mind open; And most importantly, be thankful for your chance to see this life, don’t ever take it for granted or misuse your opportunity, because you won’t get another one.

Oh yeah: Thank God for Condoms.

- Six”